By SHANNON DOYNE MAY 7, 2018
Think about a time when someone else had something you wished you had, whether it was success in school, sports, a creative endeavor or anything else. How did you feel? Did it make you want to work harder—or give up?
Now think of a time when you were the envy of others. How did that feel?
In the Opinion essay “The Upside of Envy,” Gordon Marino writes:
One of the reasons envy does not take a holiday is that we never give a rest to the impulse to compare ourselves to one another. I have had students respond with glee to being admitted to a graduate program and then a few days later coyly ask: “Hey, Doc. How many applicants do you think were rejected?” — as in, the more rejected the merrier I can allow myself to be.
Social media has generated new vistas for this compulsion to compare and lord it over others.
Maybe it is a subtle form of what Nietzsche describes as the “will to power,” but many advertisers promise that buying their product will not only raise your status, but also that pulling into the driveway with that shiny new sports car will give your neighbor a sour stomach.
But is there anything to be learned from envy? If Socrates was right and the unexamined life is not worth living, then surely we should examine our feelings to find what we really care about as opposed to what we would like to think we care about. And what better instrument for this kind of self-examination than envy, a feeling as honest as a punch.
For instance, I often find a reason to become angry with people I am envious of. But if I can identify the lizard of envy crawling around in my psyche, I can usually tamp down the ire. That same awareness can also help mitigate moral judgments. Recognizing the envy when my sixty-something friend boasted that he had recently completed a marathon, I was able to restrain myself from giving rope to the indignant thought, “Instead of running miles every day, why don’t you spend some time tutoring disadvantaged kids!”
Students: Read the entire essay, then answer the following questions in a well-written response. NO grammar crimes, please!!
— Do you see envy as related to competitiveness? Why or why not?
— Have your experiences with envy changed over the course of your life? Do you expect envy to be part of your adulthood? If so, to what degree?
— The essay mentions social media as a source of envy. Do you agree?